Sunday, July 20

Motivation

“People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.”

I’m weary. Not that “I can’t keep me eyes open” fatigue, but rather that deep seeded exhaustion that builds one drop at a time and ultimately leaves even the hair on your head devoid of purpose. For almost two weeks now I’ve also noticed a corresponding decline in my motivation, and if not for habit I doubt I’d have run.

I think the problem rests with my attempt to squeeze a pre-fatherhood routine into a life that now includes a child, something ridiculous (the idea, not he child). Specifically, it’s the fleeting moments of solitude at the end the day, the time that I have entirely to myself which now nibbles away at much needed sleep.

[the jury is still out on whether to maintain the status quo or seek to achieve a compromise]

Still, what bothered me the most was the slip in motivation. I’ve been content once out the door but it’s the act of “getting out” that is becoming increasingly more difficult. Thankfully, after reading
Brad’s Knee Knacker report and pouring over my old training program, coupled with Thomas’ inspiring 5k account that I noticed that a fire was still burning deep within me. I wanted to live those moments (minus the broken foot), most importantly I wanted to run.

This Sunday then couldn’t have been better. After deciding to forego the opportunity accompany a good friend for a 2h jaunt as he prepares for a fall jig (with <2h18 PB, I’m not nearly fit enough), I decided to head out to Thetis Lake. From there, Tim and Jim accompanied me as we looped around the back trails and into Francis King Park before heading back. The highlight of the day was kicking off our shoes and jumping into the lake at the end of our run.

I love summertime.

Training:

Friday: day off (scheduled)
Saturday: easy 1:00:31
Sunday: rolling 1:34:12

5 comments:

by7 said...

as a father of a very naughty little girl, I can understand the feeling.

it takes some time to adjust to the "daddy" life vs your "past life".
The kids are energy suckers and basically it drains out from your motivation.
If I can give you a suggestion:
- cut off every non essential activity. Personally, apart from work and time for the family, I have energy left only for running. I cut out all the rest: evening outings of any sort, watch TV or read late, etc...
very basic life, but I think it is the only way to survive until my daughter gets more independent and easier to handle
- for running, stick to a fixed time every day, very likely early morning. It is a way to preserve a personal space and feel compelled to run (When I do not feel too much motivation to get up and go, It is enough for me to realize that either I go NOW either I will very very likely mark a DNR)

Marc said...

Great quote!

The motivation will return. With the fire still burning deep- Thomas' race was indeed inspirational/motivational - let it act like a pilot light until you are ready to turn up the heat.

Yeah, the adjustment to having a child is challenging. My running time is now my time for solitude. In the infant and toddler years the Baby Jogger was indespensible.

A note to by7: as they grow more independent, yes, they are easier to handle in the basic needs department, but in my experience the time commitment can increase as they grow more independant and the relationship evolves- helping with and 'monitoring' homework, playing catch/basketball/chess, school activities (plays, band, sports), bike rides, building tree houses...

The solitude will return when they head off to college.

Grellan said...

Marc is right in relation to giving as much (or more)time to your children when they get older but then it's more on your terms - e.g. my 15 yesar old does not wake in the middle of the night screaming to be washed and fed.

Conpromise is required but it does not have to be the antithesis of motivation/inspiration.

Michael said...

Don't get me wrong, any compromise that might be needed isn't between father v. self, but rather self v. self. I love fatherhood and everything it has brought with it, but at times I want my cake AND to eat it.

As for the motivation, I think it had nothing to do with parenthhod but rather not having a clear/near goal to focus on... that'll change though.

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