Sunday, September 30

Change and everything it brings along

After growing accustomed to the balmy 29C temperatures in Maui, heading out the door this afternoon was a rude awakening. An 11C blanket of wind quickly encircled me, billowing my shirt and forcing every hair on my body to stand rigid and subsequently left me scampering back into the house for a second layer. And so it begins, having missed any gradual transition, it appears that autumn (along with the wind and rain) have arrived.

Perhaps because of the darkening skies, I found my mood sullen. With the changes that the next months will bring, concrete plans that once stood out as a beacon are slowly becoming translucent and difficult to grasp. Always the realist, I’m questioning whether it is smart to commit to a spring race as I don’t want to a) look forward to something that won’t come to fruition or b) participate if I’m not at my best. Although I think there is possibly a third option that I have left out… that ego thing.

Along with the growing family, come month end (October), I will be trading in my 15’ walk to work for a 25’ + bike (& subsequent change); I’ll be officially joining the ranks of the commuting mad racing down the Galloping Goose Trail hoping to win that imaginary prize. I’ve already told myself that on the good days I’ll indulgence and treat myself to the longer, but more scenic, waterfront, perhaps reliving a past life. Is this where my future exercise will lie hidden?

When I shared these thoughts with Ally, proud and happy that I had come to terms with what fatherhood would bring, she resolutely told me not to give up on my running hopes and dreams.

Where does this leave me? Perhaps these are just the thoughts and fears of a budding father struggling to comprehend with his idea of what parenthood will inevitably bring? Or, is it just fear of the unknown and my frail attempt at compromise, desperately trying to prepare for change before it arrives? Both of the above reasons seem a little pathetic, and although the fear maybe real, appear as a cop out. No, the plan is still tacked to the fridge and will be ceremoniously packed, unpacked, and hung with pride on our new fridge.

Training: 1:07:26 sluggish and slow